Clumsiness is not a bad habit; it’s a way of life.
And those who suffer from the inability to not hurt themselves, fall over, or break things, have an original outlook on life. There are some things that clumsy people just get, and no one else ever will. Do you identify with any of these things? Then you might be clumsy.
1. You always have a bruise (or two) that you can’t identify.
Waking up every morning is like a game of connect-the-dots. There’s no way of knowing what injury caused each cut, scrape, bruise, mark, etc.
2. You’ve at least once had a bruise on your face from dropping your iPhone on it.
Because you can’t even lay down without hurting yourself.
3. Table corners are not your friends.
For that matter, neither are desks, chairs, door frames, stairs, uneven ground, sidewalk edges, high heels, alcohol or the dark. Because one, if not all, of those things have caused you pain in the past.
4. You can’t have nice things.
Because you will break them. Anything made of glass is a HUGE no-no.
5. Your roommates hate you.
Because when you’re not waking them up tripping over something on the floor (or your own feet), you’re waking them up by tripping over something and using their sleeping body as a softer landing.
6. You DEFINITELY can’t buy white furniture.
Because it won’t stay white for long. And white clothes are even worse, because you’ve never gotten through a meal without at least one spill.
7. You get anxiety going to nice restaurants.
Between the white tablecloths, the glasses, and the other people, how could you possibly remain calm? You already know the worst is coming.
8. Dancing is a nightmare, and you avoid it at all costs.
Even Taylor Swift dances better than you. And she is probably your idol, because she’s the only one that really ~gets~ it.
9. If you don’t live somewhere warm already, you dream about it constantly.
Not because of the actual warm weather. No, you covet ice-free ground. Because slipping on ice is inevitable for you.
10. Your friends get scared any time you have a story to tell.
Because you are so animated, and you wave your arms around so much, which leads to you breaking everything in sight. Alternatively: they move to shield expensive things with their bodies.
11. You spend a large part of your day apologizing.
Even to the desk you ran into. “I’m sorry” is an automatic response at this point.
12. You have the largest collection of cleaning products of all your friends.
Because, duh. You need them the most.
13. You have a great imagination.
Because you’ve spent so much time trying to think of a better story to tell when someone asks how you hurt yourself. Because the truth is so sad.
14. You no longer have a sense of embarrassment.
Because you’ve fallen down so many times in front of huge crowds that it’s just no longer a thing.
[Featured Image Credit: pixshark.com]
