Ending a relationship can be one of the hardest decisions. On one hand, you realize that no relationship is perfect and you don’t want to walk away too soon. But on the other hand, you may feel as if you’ve given all that you can.
Relationships have their ups and downs, and by working together, most couples are able to weather major storms and maintain a strong bond. But not every relationship has a happy ending, and certain behaviors can be a tell-tale sign that it’s time to move on.
1. More Pain than Happiness
Being in a relationship isn’t easy, and there will be good days and bad days. Bad days don’t necessarily indicate the end, as even the happiest couples have arguments and get upset with each other. But if you can count more bad days than good, and if every discussion ends in a major argument, it’s time to evaluate whether the relationship is working. Not that you can’t overcome this hurdle and enjoy a lasting union. This, however, requires work and you both have to be on the same page.
2. Constantly Dealing with the Same Major Issues
Everyone has their quirks, and no matter how hard you try, you aren’t going to change every idiosyncrasy about your partner – this doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. However, if you feel that you’re going in circles with regards to major problems in the relationship – infidelity, abusive speech or lack of respect – maybe it’s time to give the union a break.
3. You’re Living in the Past
If past memories are the only thing holding the relationship together, it may be time to move on. Reflecting on the good times can rekindle the flame, as this forces you to remember why you fell in love. This is an excellent way to grow and develop a deeper appreciation for each other, which can get the relationship on track. However, you shouldn’t use past memories as a way to mask or deflect from present issues.
4. He/She Puts in Little (or No) Effort
If you’re giving the relationship your all, but your partner has no interest in improving the situation, there’s very little you can do. Mending a relationship requires two willing participants. Not that you should quickly give up, but be honest with yourself. Your partners attitude can indicate whether they really want to be in this relationship.
5. He/She Expects You to Make All the Changes
For a relationship to work, you both need to recognize your shortcomings. Of course, this can be hard if your partner feels that he or she is perfect, thus not to blame. Yet, rarely is only one person to blame for the problems in a relationship, and if your partner always plays the victim and can’t accept his or her role in disputes – there’s an even bigger issue at hand. Change is the only way to move forward – and if this doesn’t happen – you’ll always deal with the same issues.
6. No Love Left
Maybe you don’t feel the same about the relationship. You can’t always make yourself feel a certain way, and to avoid hurt feelings, you may stay in the relationship just because. But this isn’t fair to you or your partner. This will make you unhappy and your partner deserves better.
7. He/She Has Moved On
Then again, maybe it’s the other way around. Perhaps you’re all into the relationship, but your partner isn’t. This person may not officially break up with you, but if you sense that his or her heart is somewhere else, maybe it’s time to bow out. Once your partner checks out of the relationship, it can difficult to reign him or her back in – not that it’s entirely impossible. But you will need to consider the big picture. If your partner has zero enthusiasm and no emotional attachment to your relationship, it may not be worth the fight.
8. Goals Don’t Match
Not that you have to share a brain and think alike. But when it comes to major goals and directions in life, you’ve got to be on the same page. Couples have to compromise. However, if you’re unwilling to bend on certain things, perhaps your beliefs or way or living, chances are that the relationship won’t work. For example, maybe your partner is against having kids, but you’ve always dreamed of having a house full of children. Then again, maybe your partner doesn’t ever want to get married, yet this has always been a goal of yours.
9. Don’t Look Forward to Spending Time Together
Every couple needs a breather from time-to-time – perfectly healthy and normal. Besides, spending too much time together is a surefire way to get on each other’s nerve. But if you NEVER want to spend time together, and if you’re always looking for an excuse to separate, it’s time for a relationship checkup.
