Fall instead for the girl who is the center of attention. She is the one sipping fruity drinks and dancing under street lights. Love the girl who wants to take the world by storm, who demands it. Words will flutter out of her mouth as she prattles on about her dreams over white wine and red velvet cake.
She’ll twirl in white dresses and wear floppy sun hats when you go to the beach. Smile at her like she is the star that shines brighter than the rest and take her out dancing. Treasure her, because she treasures you. When you bicker, apologize, and when you brawl apologize more. Tell her you think she is the most beautiful person you’ve ever met, because she is. When the fighting loses its intensity and the bickering silences, you’ll be inclined to let go. You’ll want to let the hating words fizzle into silent, dispassionate resentment.
You’ll see her as a stone silhouette, shimmering against the orange background of the woman you used to love–in fact, you still love, but your love has changed.
Whatever happens, just don’t fall for the girl who is alone. She isn’t alone because she is lonely. Instead, she basks in the glory of solitude and hears music in the silence. Her thoughts are a chaotic flurry, and she listens with the finely-tuned ear of a concert pianist.
You’ll meet her at that same bar, but she’s not the one basking in the glow of socialization. Instead, she’s soberly sitting in the corner, a hint of a smirk playing in her eyes as she observes. She loves to observe. She quietly drinks in the world around her and studies the fellow members of her species. She’ll pry into your thoughts, she’ll catalog everything you say and call upon it on a rainy day, like pink sunshine breaking through dreary clouds.
She’ll sit in silence reading a book for hours, or disappear for days because she likes to wander.
On warm summer nights she’ll leave out the back door and return an hour later, having mulled over the bubbling cacophony that frequently brews in her head.
The girl who is alone is drawn to ideas. She knows how big the world is, and her greatest fear is not experiencing enough. She feels hindered by the tiny vibrations of small talk and instead wants to gulp up the bellowing shouts of philosophy.
And then she’ll stop talking. The girl who is alone knows the importance of hearing the silence, so she will follow its elusive trail. She knows that life is short and youth is limited. She’ll hunt it with the skill of an archer and study it like an anthropologist. She’ll share her findings, and when you don’t understand, she’ll pull away.
The girl who is alone knows herself. She reflects. She’s come to terms with the harsh realizations you throw at her and recognizes they are already true. She has accepted these as part of herself.
She’s studied you too and she knows you (not as well as she knows herself, but enough). When she hurls an insult at you, the pain will vibrate in your bones. Her harsh words will pull you in, as much as they push you away.
She fears being held back by you, so when she inevitably leaves, you will feel empty. It will be a pain worse than any other, but a pain you’ll never have to feel…because you never spoke to the girl who is alone.
Be glad you didn’t fall for her, and instead you fell for the social butterfly. You understand her coldness; you know how she feels. You’ll never understand the girl who is alone, and she’ll never understand you. She doesn’t need to and she certainly doesn’t want to. She’s alone and happy.
[Featured Image Credit: Michelle LaFiura]