Many people decide to get their DNA tested as a fun way to get to learn about themselves and their family history. What many people don’t realize, however, is that the pursuit can turn up family secrets that have been kept for decades.
In 2016, a New York woman and her partner decided to take DNA tests for fun. However, when the results came back, the woman’s life was turned upside down as she learned the truth about a secret her mother had kept her entire life.
An Ancestry Fascination
After tracing her father’s family tree back to the 1600s, one New York woman always dreamed of taking her research into her ancestry to the next level. To do that, however, she would have to get her DNA tested through a DNA database like Ancestry.com or 23andMe.
Focusing On The Future
Yet for a long time, she and her now-husband didn’t have the extra money to get the tests done. At the time, it had been 2016 and the couple had recently moved from Florida back to New York. They had also been saving up for a fertility treatment hoping to start a family together. Michèle and her then-boyfriend couldn’t justify the cost of the DNA tests. Instead of their interests in the past, the couple knew they needed to be focusing on their future together and spending their money to make that future a reality.
Justifying The Cost
However, getting a DNA test started to seem like an investment for Michèle after she started thinking about going back to school. She recalled that she had been told that she had some Native American ancestry from her father’s side of the family. Native Americans and people with a certain percentage of Native American ancestry can be eligible for scholarships. Michèle thought that if she got a DNA test done, she could see what percentage of her ancestry was Native American.
An Early Christmas Gift
If it was high enough, she hoped she could apply for some scholarships to ultimately help save her money if she decided to go back to school at any point. So in May 2016, she and her partner decided to order DNA tests for themselves as early Christmas presents.
An Unexpected Challenge
Michèle and her partner decided to get their DNA tested through Ancestry.com. When the test kits arrived, they excitedly got to work. Yet, filling up the vials with their saliva turned out the be harder than they imagined. “It was daunting,” Michèle told The Guardian.
Six Weeks Later
“It took us, like, 20 minutes. And the more we laughed, the harder it was to do,” she explained. “We joked about sending them sweetener samples, to see if it still works.” Eventually, the couple managed to fill up the vials. The next day, they sent their test kits back to Ancestry.com, who would then have the samples tested in their lab. According to Michèle, she and her now-husband were contacted just six weeks later by Ancestry.com that their results were in.
Expected Results
The couple both logged onto their accounts on a laptop. First, they looked at Michèle’s husband’s results. According to Michèle, her husband’s DNA results pretty much reflected what he had always been told about his ancestry and the family’s history. Then it was Michèle’s turn.
A Complete Shock
Michèle logged into her account and looked at her results. Unlike her husband, however, the results didn’t make any sense and didn’t seem to reflect any of the information she had been told about her family. “The first thing that popped up is a pie chart, and one whole half was red and said ‘Italy,’” Michèle said.
In Denial
In fact, Michèle was so shocked by the results that her first thought was that Ancestry.com must have made a mistake. “I was dumbfounded. Like: ‘Well, that’s a huge mistake. They must have mixed mine up with someone else’s,’” Michèle explained.
Reality Sets In
“My husband looks through it, then he says: ‘Honey, they didn’t make a mistake. This is you.’” After realizing that there was no mistake with her results, Michèle started to panic. According to Michèle, she had her first ever anxiety attack that night.
A Lifelong Secret
“I just got very quiet. All these things from my past suddenly started going through my head: questions, feelings, things that couldn’t be explained, things that my mother would get angry or defensive about if I brought them up,” Michèle said. “I started to realize: ‘I think I’ve discovered a secret.’”
Breaking The Silence
Michèle and her mother were estranged and, at that point, she hadn’t spoken to her mother in two years. Desperate to get some answers, Michèle called her mother that same night. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the answers she hoped she would get. When Michèle brought up the Italian ancestry, her mother claimed there must be a mistake. Michèle’s mom denied having any knowledge of the alleged Italian ancestry and claimed the results were impossible.
The Relatives
While looking through the DNA results, Michèle also noticed her Ancestry account linked her with several people from Syracuse, New York, where she had grown up. The names she read were the names of strangers, but the website claimed they were first cousins.
Searching For Answers
The next morning, Michèle decided to call her mom’s sister. She hoped her aunt would be more open with her about her mother’s past even though she was only 10 years old when her mom got pregnant at 18 years old. After calling her aunt, Michèle asked if her mother ever dated an Italian boy.
The Prom Date
“I’m looking at the last name: 100% match, first cousin. And my aunt says: ‘The only guy I remember who comes to mind is her prom date.’ And she says that same surname,” Michèle said. “I stood up, my laptop went to the floor, I dropped my phone and I ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.”
A Cruel Reaction
Michèle contacted her mother, who denied that her prom date could have possibly been her father. Her mom then went on to say it wouldn’t even matter if he was since the man died the year before in a motorcycle accident. “That’s how I found that out. It was very cruel,” said Michèle, who then found her biological father’s obituary. “It was literally the male version of me.”
The Aftermath
To be sure, Michèle got a paternity test done with the man her mother always claimed was her real father. The pair were devastated when the results proved what Michèle had suspected. According to Michèle, however, the pair became even closer after the paternity test. On the other hand, Michèle completely cut her mother out of her life as she continued to insist that three separate DNA tests were wrong.
Meeting The Relatives
After the shocking discovery, Michèle got in touch with her biological family in Upstate New York. She explained her story, and they knew just by looking at her photos that she was her father’s child. In August of 2016, Michèle traveled to Syracuse and met her relatives for the first time.
A Touching Reunion
According to Michèle, her grandmother was thrilled to find out she had a granddaughter since she only had grandsons up until that point. Michèle’s uncle also took her to visit her father’s grave. “It took me at least a couple of weeks to recover,” Michèle said. “But they welcomed me with open arms.”
Moving Forward
While Michèle was happy to get to know her long-lost family, it wasn’t easy to deal with.“There have been times when I’m just kind of breaking down, and so angry and sad, that I say I wish I had never opened Pandora’s box,” she said. After a lot of work and therapy, however, she has been able to move on with her life and accept what happened.
