15 Cynically Humorous Mark Twain Quotes

15 Cynically Humorous Mark Twain Quotes

The Mark Twain quotes selected by our Life Daily team give a humorous insight into his views about life and God.

Mark Twain was born in Hannibal, Missouri in 1835, and died of a heart attack in Redding, Connecticut in 1910.

His real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens, but he adopted the pen name, by which he is inevitably known, after trying out a few alternatives.

His best selling works were “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and its sequel,”The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” Apart from his prowess as an author, he was considered the greatest American humorist of his age.

Browse through this small selection of quotes from Mark Twain to understand more about his world view:

1. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

2. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

3. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

4. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

5. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

6. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

7. Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

8. Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.

9. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

10. The lack of money is the root of all evil.

11. It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

12. In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

13. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

14. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

15. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Cynical to the very end, we offer you this bonus quote from Mark Twain:

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Have these quotes influenced how you think of Mark Twain? Do you have any favorites we may have missed?

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