15 Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners About Marriage

15 Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners About Marriage

Rodney Dangerfield was born Jacob Rodney Cohen in 1921 in New York, and died aged 82 in Los Angeles, California.

Dangerfield was married three times, which included two marriages to the same woman, Joyce Indig. Following their second divorce, he remained single for over 20 years before marrying his second wife. Joan Child, who was with him until his death.

Perhaps what happened in those marriages contributed to Rodney Dangerfield’s one-liners about the subject.

Dangerfield’s stage personna was that of a belligerent loser. He very much resented the fact people did not understand that was not his real life personality. Joan Child characterized him as “classy, gentlemanly, sensitive, and intelligent.”

In 2003 he was hospitalized, needing brain surgery. When entering the hospital he was asked how long he would be there. He instantly replied: “If all goes well, about a week. If not, about an hour and a half.”

Just another example of a perfect Rodney Dangerfield one-liner.

Checkout our selection of his thoughts about marriage:

  1. I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
  2. With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
  3. My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
  4. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
  5. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
  6. My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
  7. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  8. My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
  9. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
  10. I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
  11. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
  12. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
  13. My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
  14. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
  15. It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

Was Rodney Dangerfield really as cynical about marriage as his one-liners would indicate?

Do you detect any basis in truth for some of his humor?

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