Joan Rivers was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1933, and died in the same city yesterday, September 14, at the age of 81.
She was an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and television host, best known for her stand-up comedy, for co-hosting the E! celebrity fashion show Fashion Police, and for starring in a reality series alongside her daughter, Melissa.
Joan Rivers was renowned for her acerbic wit and biting humor, as exemplified in these quotes.
Rivers first came to prominence in 1965 as a guest on The Tonight Show, hosted by Johnny Carson, Her comic style frequently poked fun at celebrities, but she also joked about herself, particularly her extensive plastic surgery.
Her satirical style of humor, which often focused on the personal lives of celebrities and public figures, was sometimes criticized.
She died on September 4, 2014 following serious complications—including cardiac arrest—during a procedure on her vocal cords at a clinic on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
These quotes of Joan Rivers are her legacy to the world of humor:
- I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware.
- I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.
- I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.”
- You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
- My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I’d scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus — that way, I’d visit him every day.
- I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
- I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
- It was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.
- I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for ‘Best Special Effects.’
- All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what there is stinks.
- The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
- With age comes wisdom. You don’t need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
- No more Botox for me. Betty White’s bowels move more than my face.
- Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
- You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
- When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
- Half of all marriages end in divorce — and then there are the really unhappy ones.
- I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life. Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade. My gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers certainly had a unique outlook on life, as these quotes show.
As far as death was concerned, she could also joke about it with this classic one-liner:
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Will you miss Joan Rivers’ brand of non-political correctness? How do you feel about her humor?
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