After many years of a mother and daughter wondering if they would ever find each other, a holiday miracle was already in the works. Despite it taking four decades, the two were finally reunited after being separated for 43 years.
Here is their heartwarming story and the one reason it took so long to find each other.
Biological Mother
Every year, especially during the holidays, Kimberly Sebeck, 44, wondered about her mom. The fact that she worked as a doula and childbirth educator, meant that she was constantly coaching other women into motherhood and being reminded of her own mother. She had no idea who her biological mom was and she wondered about her.
Adoption
All that she knew was that her mom was young and unmarried when she gave her up for adoption. Little did Sebeck know that during the holidays, and every day of the year, as a matter of fact, her mother thought of her as well.
Searching The Internet
Cheri Hahn DeSalvo posted on messages boards and forums, as well as scouring the internet to find her daughter, according to USA Today. All that she knew about her was that she was born on October 8, 1972, in a Florida emergency room. Every day, she wondered how her daughter was and if she was happy.
Special Gift
One of Sebeck’s clients bought her a DNA test from Ancestry.com once she heard her doula’s story. Being a history professor, with a focus on genealogy, she was shocked Sebeck knew nothing about her past. A few days later, she presented the DNA test to her with a gift bag containing the plastic vial.
Ancestry.com
After filling the vial with saliva, Sebeck mailed it in and a few weeks later, she learned her ancestors were mainly French Mediterranean. Then Ancestry.com gave her an option that she could find out if her DNA was similar to anyone else’s in their files.
DNA
“And I had an ‘extremely close match’ – that’s what they call it,” she said, “with an older man, in his 60s, in South Dakota.” Sebeck remembered back when she was 25 and she paid a service for “non-identifying information.” At the time, she learned that her mother was a “teenage mom [who] knew she was pregnant but didn’t get any prenatal care and didn’t tell anybody.”
Adoption
“I was always of the opinion (adoption) was a magical gift,” Sebeck said. “I didn’t know the circumstances surrounding it, so I obviously felt kind of bad about that, but I mostly had a positive spin on it.” Sebeck’s adoptive parents were always open about her adoption and tried to give her as much information as they had about her birth parents.
Close Relative
When Sebeck learned she had a very close relative, she tried to figure out who the man on Ancestry.com was. “I saw his mother and saved her picture to my computer and said, “I’m related to her.” After that, it took her two and a half months to get the courage to send the man an email.
She wrote in the email the few details she knew of her adoption and apologized to him if this information was shocking. Then, after celebrating Mother’s Day with her daughter Andin McLaughlin, Sebeck posted a bittersweet message to Facebook, explaining how she often suffered from a strained relationship with her adoptive mother.
Bittersweet
Sebeck added that she did not know anything about her biological mother. “I’m quite conflicted on Mother’s Day, she wrote in 2016. “All I can say, though, is that I see amazing mothers every day. Ones who struggle. Ones who seem to breeze by. Ones who have heartache. Ones who find the true meaning of mothering in their journey with their children.”
Hiding Her Pregnancy
Sebeck had no idea that her mother became pregnant with her in 1972 when she was only 15 and that she hid her pregnancy. At the time, she sort of went into a state of denial that she was even pregnant.
Going Into Labor
DeSalvo’s parents first learned she was pregnant only after she went into labor and gave birth in an emergency room. She didn’t even tell the birth father, her then-boyfriend and first love, because his family was conservative. After learning the news, DeSalvo’s parents were consumed with shock and they arranged for an adoption.
The Day Of Her Birth
“I was swept along, I did not argue, as I believed it was probably for the best,” DeSalvo told USA Today. “My hope was that she’d find a mom and dad, a good, ‘normal’ family.” But for decades, she held tightly in her mind to memories from that date. It was the only time she held her daughter in her arms.
Newborn
“I remember her dark hair, lots of it. Had I been able to name her, she would have been Cassandra Lee or Tara Marie. I remember it was sunny out, and a beautiful Sunday morning. I remember pain, physical and emotional, confusion, and fear of my parents’ reaction. I remember being very drugged and just waiting to sleep,” she said.
Longing For Her Daughter
DeSalvo’s parents, who are now deceased, never spoke of the baby. She wound up marrying another man and had a son two years later. But throughout the years, whenever she’d see a female child around her daughter’s age, she’d wonder if maybe it was her. “Every year on her birthday, I’d wonder if she was OK. Where was she? Was she happy?”
Forwarded Email
DeSalvo never told her son he had a sister, although she told his father and later, her second husband. She also confided to both her sisters that she’d given up a baby girl, although she never told her two brothers. Then, in May, DeSalvo’s oldest brother forwarded Sebeck’s email to all the siblings, asking if any of them knew what it was about.
Elated
“I was totally shocked,” DeSalvo said. “I had a ton of emotions run through me: surprise, elation. I never allowed myself to believe it would happen.” Both her brothers were supported and her son was excited, along with her stepson. Her husband was especially thrilled since for many years he’d tried to get DeSalvo to hire a private investigator to find her daughter.
Google Search
After the overwhelming support she received, DeSalvo sat down at her computer and googled her daughter. “When I saw her [Facebook] profile picture, I knew she was my daughter – no DNA test results needed,” DeSalvo said. “I had my brother give her my Facebook page, so she could check me out.”
First Conversation
After emailing her daughter for the first time on Mother’s Day evening, the two shared a phone conversation that lasted four hours. They discovered the one reason they had trouble finding each other: Sebeck’s birth certificate listed the hospital she and DeSalvo were taken to, not the hospital where DeSalvo had actually given birth.
Like A Warm Hug
Soon, the pair was talking every day and they learned of their many similarities. From their voices to their love of animals, they just clicked. While DeSalvo worried her daughter would be angry with her, Sebeck was anything but. In fact, she said, “It was like a warm hug you’ve been waiting for your whole life.”
