Kaley and Jeremy had wanted kids since before they even got married but were having trouble conceiving. A whole bunch of niggly medical issues stopped the couple from being able to have children until their fate changed one day.
What with Kaley’s rheumatoid arthritis and lupus, she relied on medication to get her through most days and knew how hard it would be for her to fall pregnant. Then, the winds of change came and this couple ended up with a house full of the sounds of pattering feet…
Kaley and Jeremy Carling were desperate to conceive. They were both mother and father material and tried thier utmost to become pregnant. Kaley stopped taking her medication and lost a bunch of weight but no baby was ever on the way no matter what they did.
Taking a Break
Having tried for years to fall pregnant, the couple decided at one point to take a hard-earned break from the baby thing. They stopped trying to conceive for five years and just tried to get on with their lives and enjoy them. But they always felt a certain emptiness and life at home was almost too quiet.
Having realized they weren’t going to have kids of their own any time soon, the Carlings decided to reach out to friends and family to see if they knew of anyone who was looking for a couple to adopt their child. They got connected with a young woman who was interested, being pregnant with her fourth child.
Initially, the woman, who already had three kids, said she was interested in the Carlings adopting her unborn child and also possibly her youngest toddler. But then just a few weeks later and the woman went cold and changed her mind; the deal was off.
While the Carlings licked their wounds, feeling heartbroken and devastated about the woman changing her mind, they decided to register as certified foster parents. If they couldn’t have kids of their own or to adopt easily, they would enter the foster system.
In the Family
For her part, Kaley had always been interested and even fascinated about the fact that her own father was adopted. It was often spoken about inside the family and Kaley felt totally comfortable with the idea of taking strangers into her home to raise.
A few months later and the Carling’s luck seemed to be turning. They learned that they were to foster two sisters but on the same day another mother also came forward saying she wanted the couple to adopt her unborn twins.
All at Once
The Carlings had gone from no kids to the prospect of four kids overnight and it took them some time to get their heads around the concept. Finally, the courts finalized the paperwork and the Carlings were to be the proud adoptive parents of four children; all within just 24 hours!
“We had the room,” Kaley said, according to a Today report. “It was either going to lead us to our family or worst-case scenario, we provide shelter and love and food and all those things for a child until we get our family,” she said.
It was a hot summer’s day when the couple received the two phone calls that would change their lives forever. The first, was from the foster agency who had two sisters who needed a home; 13-month-old Haven and a newborn called Indie.
The second call came from the pregnant woman with twins who was interested in having her kids adopted after they were born. “We just knew immediately. It just felt right,” Kaley said. They weren’t sure about adopting Haven and Indie as other parties were interested in taking them but they decided to keep all their options open for as long as possible.
The Carlings were thrilled when they started fostering Haven and Indie. The sisters were gorgeous and very well behaved and now they were just waiting to hear from the other mother who would offer them a full adoption opportunity. When the twins were born at the end of January, the Carlings were jumping for joy.
Soon after the twins were born, they were named Weslie and Sunny. The Carlings were thrilled to welcome them into their growing home which was mounting up with baby formula and diapers. Having four kids under the age of two was challenging for sure, but the Carlings embraced it with open arms.
Both Kaley and Jeremy spoke more than once about their decision to adopt four kids under the age of two. “I look back and wonder ‘what was I thinking? I think that’s insane.’ Now it is just our life,” Kaley said. For them, the main thing was tying up the legal loose ends and ensuring all the paperwork was in place.
Having waited for many years to adopt or foster children after becoming pregnant failed, the Carlings told reporters that they wanted to ensure everything was in place properly. The last thing the Carlings wanted at this stage was some legal glitch that would threaten their new family; either now or in the future.
As Kaley explained: “It feels great to have everything cemented. We just wanted to live so long just as a family without anything to change that,” she said. Meanwhile, she stays at home with the kids while Jeremey goes out to bring the bacon home, and to spend what spare time he has with the kids.
Kaley also said that she and her husband also felt a tremendous sense of relief once the paperwork was all finalized. “I have only seen my husband cry maybe three times in 12 years and Oct. 20 when they were finalized is one of those times,” Kaley said. “We felt an overwhelming sense of relief.”
For his part, having wiped the tears from his cheeks, Jeremy told Parents.com, “It was easily the best few days of our lives!” He said. “The judge commented that she’s never seen so much love and support in her courtroom before,” Kaley added.
Kaley explained in more detail: “Our journey to get to this point has been anything but easy,” she said. “Health issues, infertility, failed adoptions, death. Heartbreak. And more heartbreak,” she said. The couple also had some sound advice for would-be parents wanting to adopt babies.
Never Give up
Kaley advised other people in her situation to persevere and to never give up. “We are here to give hope to those in a similar situation to persevere, to push through,” she said. “When you feel like giving up, don’t. It will all be worth it in the end; sleep deprivation and all.”